Spend Time In Uranus, You’ll Like It, Maybe

WARNING – The following contains material that may not be suitable for any audiences and includes childish, moronic humor. Remember, you clicked on this shit.

So I left one full day open this week in anticipation that my heart would act up but it didn’t, so we sat down last night to make a plan for the day. As I frequently do, we opened Google Maps and started poking around areas we had yet to explore. That’s when we both saw it at the same time and exclaimed, “We have to go there!” The Uranus Fudge Factory in Uranus, Missouri. How could you go wrong?!?

As we started toward our destination I think we could sense each other’s anticipation at the potential excitement we were about to experience. But as we got closer we both started to think of questions.

Should we announce ourselves or was it ok to just barge right in?
Were we dressed appropriately for the occasion?
Was it safe to eat there or should we stop for a bite a little bit away?
The dogs were with us. Was it ok to let them loose or would it take us forever to get them to leave it?
The questions were coming fast and furious.

We burst through the doorway boldly and were greeted with a robust, “Welcome to Uranus!!!”

Needless to say the staff made us feel welcome and comfortable immediately. We spent quite some time wandering around, exploring the nooks and crannies filled with toys and edibles and clothing with humorous sayings. Heather picked out postcards and some candy while I settled on a pin and patch for my vest along with a bag of root beer barrel candy. Then we ventured further into Uranus in search of the highlight of the experience…funnel cake.

We approached the concession stand excited for that warm, sugary delight…only to be let down. The stand didn’t sell funnel cake as advertised. We could get a hotdog instead. Now I don’t know about you, but getting a hotdog in Uranus seems sketchy. I would much prefer funnel cake. Needless to say, I left Uranus feeling a little unsatisfied. It seemed anticlimactic.

Fortunately, just as we were pulling out, Heather found a delightful little cupcake shop that taint a mile up the rode and we satisfied our sweet tooth there.

Overall I’d say if you are in the area Uranus is an entertaining place to visit but I wouldn’t go out of my way to get there and I wouldn’t plan on spending a lot of time there, either.